Most police officers would have, at some point during their patrolling days (and nights), come across a couple who have decided to park up and ‘have a cuddle’.
Sometimes they can be found during daylight areas in built-up areas. Whilst on other occasions, they can be found in the thousands of unlit car parks around the country.
It’s always a bit of an awkward affair when, as a police officer, you have to walk up to the car, knock on the window and then make sure that everyone in the vehicle is ‘ok’.
And, of course, it is probably much more awkward for the ‘fornicating’ couple when they have a police officer glaring at them during their ‘vinegar strokes’.
But then, the police do need to check on the welfare of the individuals in the car, just in case one of them is there against their will.
And that’s why the police will and do ‘check things out’ whenever they stumble across people having cuddles in their ‘birthday suits’.
However, for one officer, after making sure all was well with a couple, he then proceeded to leave the scene by carrying out a complicated maneuver in the dark.
During the attempt to leave, the police car became well-and-truly stuck in the mud, meaning that some hard work hard to be called upon in order to free the vehicle.
The only question now is, what is the suitable ‘cake fine’ that should be levied against the officer?
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In the summer of 1972 I was posted on Summer aid from ROCHESTER ROW to HYDE PARK Police Station when the Metropolitan Police had responsibility for the Royal Park and the potential for public order at Speakers Corner. Having locked the IN gates to the park and them the OUT gates and checked the parking areas I was driving back to the Police Station and my attention was drawn to a dark shape off the roadway obscuring the usual vista of twinkling lights reflected by the surface of the Serpentine. Closer examination revealed it to be a Mercedes saloon and parking the J2 van I was patrolling in revealed an naked couple in the back seat, illuminated by headlights of the van. The female was aware of the sudden illumination and was seen to tap the shoulders of her male companion who was somewhat preoccupied. Uncoupling the female disappeared seeking refuge on the floor of the vehicle leaving the male to converse. After citing a list of statute, by law and Common Law offences he agreed to leave the Park. On stopping to be allowed through a gateway he pleaded, as the licensee of a nearby public house, that his wife would not become aware of the incident as he was ‘only running one of the barmaids home’ and looked forward to entertaining me ‘at anytime I was passing’, an offer I did not take up. I did suggest that he returned home with a flat tyre to explain the delay and by liberally covering his arms with the dust from the wheel arch of his vehicle would justify an immediate shower on his eventual return to the pub!