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We have found the answer to the KFC Chicken crisis! So there is no ‘need’ to call the Cops!

by John Johnson
21 February 2018
in Emergency Services News, Police Service, The Back Canteen
2 min read
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We have found the answer to the KFC Chicken crisis! So there is no ‘need’ to call the Cops!
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Judging by the fact that some c__kwombles, living in the London Borough of Tower Hamlets, were so upset by the ‘chicken crisis’ currently plaguing KFC ‘eateries’, that some of them felt it necessary to call the Police, we felt that we needed to do something in order to help out these poor souls.

Being the kind and caring people that we are here at S__ts & Giggles HQ,  we thought that we would send Medic Admin out in his home town in order to scour the bins for previously discarded half-eaten chicken pieces.

And, believe it or not, he has come up with the goods, and has managed to locate several half-eaten KFC meals which, upon closer inspection, are still fit for human consumption.

Screen Shot 2018-02-21 at 10.19.11
Cops in Tower Hamlets made a plea for f__kwits to stop calling them about the lack of chicken in KFC.

Our Oppos in the Metropolitan Police, have better things to do with their time than to deal with calls from members of the public who think that KFC running out of chicken, is a Police matter.

Once we have ‘cleaned’ the discarded chicken pieces lovingly collected by Medic Admin, then we will then set up an eBay auction where crackpots can bid on their favorite ‘delicacy’.

This should then mean that the under-resourced Police Oppos manning the ThinBlueLine  can get back to having to deal with their mountains, upon mountains of existing paperwork, red tape and bureaucracy.

Mountains which have grown enormously in size, owing to the ridiculous cuts which have been made the Police budgets.

 

KFC 1
We owe it to the people of Tower Hamlets to help them during their darkest hour

There is also an incredibly high possibility, that the muppets who called the Cops because KFC ran out of chicken, will receive a nomination for one of our coveted ‘Darwin Awards’ in the next issue of our banter-filled subscriber-only digital magazine.

However, with so many nominees coming to light this past week, it will be hard for our judges to determine exactly who should be awarded and officially acknowledged for their acts of stupidity.

Subscribe to our digital magazine, and help us to decide which of the ‘nominees’ really have stood out for their acts of common-sense-defying ludicracy, and should therefore be presented with a ‘Darwin Award’

CLICK HERE to sign up

 

Screen Shot 2018-02-01 at 10.47.17

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If you want to connect with the S__ts & Giggles Team, CLICK HERE to connect with us on Twitter

Before you go...

We need your help. As former emergency services & armed forces personnel, we pride ourselves on bringing you important, fast-moving and breaking news stories which are free from the negative bias which is often directed at the emergency services by some sections of the mainstream media.

One of the reasons we started 'Emergency Services News' was because we became tired of reading badly informed stories about the emergency services which seemed only ever to highlight negative aspects of the job.

We want to be the unheard voice of the remarkable men and women who serve in the emergency services, NHS and armed forces. And with around 500k page views each month, we are getting there!

As income from ads, the mainstay source of income for most publishers, continues to decline; we need the help of our readers.

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© Emergency Services News
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  • Police
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