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Startled Male Calls The Cops After ‘Catching’ A Bag Full Of DILDO’S During A Fishing Trip

by John Johnson
6 August 2018
in Blogs, Emergency Services News, You Couldn't Make it Up
3 min read
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Startled Male Calls The Cops After ‘Catching’ A Bag Full Of DILDO’S During A Fishing Trip
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Concerned Angler became worried for the mystery owner of a bag full of strange sex toys

Monday 6th August | by Cop(ex) | @ES_Humour  

This particular story stuck in my mind mainly because I am not a massive fan of fishing, despite the fact that many of my civvy mates are.

Personally, I would rather just dart around on a boat than sit in one spot watching the end of a fishing rod, as if the fishing rod might attack me at any moment – such are the levels of concentration required when you go fishing.

However, like many men and women around the world, my civvy mates enjoy trying to coax a fish to take their bait in the hope that they might be able to reel in the fish, only to let it go again (albeit with serious internal injuries).

But it turns out that catching fish is just one potential eventuality from casting your tackle into the deep abyss of the unknown.

This poor chap, as a prime example, ended up catching far more than he bargained for, when, no-doubt excited by the prospect of a stiff line, he reeled in what he thought would be an epic catch.

You can imagine his shock when, instead of spotting a slimy fish at the end of his line, he found a black bag that clearly must have been in the water for some time.

In a similar situation, should you happen to find yourself in one, then I am sure that most people would want to know what is in the bag.


SG PROMO 1 copy
Owing to Community Standards, we cannot show the entire image.


 

Could it be gold? Could it be wads of cash thrown away by a criminal as they fled from the Cops?

You might think that this is the kind of ‘stuff’ that you would find in a discarded bag; but not on this occasion!

Instead, the happy angler found a bag full of DILDOS – of varying sizes and girths.

There are some unconfirmed reports on the internet doing the rounds that the male called the Cops, worried about the welfare of the ‘owner’ of the Dildos.

Maybe the owner(s) of the ‘toys’ had planned a ‘boat trip’ only to capsize during the voyage?

Perhaps the boat sank because of ballast issues / weight problems in relation to the size of the dildos?

Your guess is as good as ours…

Unfortunately we cannot share the entire image, as it could breach ‘community standards’ resulting in our Admins having to sit on the naughty step for several days.

We will share the image (in its entirety) in the next issue of our popular fortnightly satirical digital magazine, ‘S__ts & Giggles’, where no such ‘community standards’ exist, or ever will exist.

Anyone can subscribe to our £1-per-month digital publication, whether or not you have served in the emergency services, by clicking here —>



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WE NEED YOUR HELP.Here at Emergency Services News, we aim to tell you stories that the mainstream media are not interested in reporting. Whilst the MSM love to berate and ridicule the emergency services, who is there to report on the realities of serving on the front line?

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