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‘Prime Minister disMAY’ | Anonymous

by John Johnson
28 October 2018
in Guest Blog, Police Service
2 min read
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‘Prime Minister disMAY’ | Anonymous
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This ‘message’ was sent into our team anonymously earlier on this morning. We have a feeling that it will capture the sentiment of many currently on the ever-thinning blue line. 

‘Colleagues….. please take a couple of minutes to read this little ditty that I have written….keep up the good work.

‘Prime Minister disMAY’

Hello everybody My name is Teresa May

I’m in charge of the Police And they’ll do as I say

I’ve no knowledge of law enforcement

A cop I’ve never been

I’ve no idea about what they do

I’ve never seen what they have seen

I’ve never been to a domestic While only single crewed

Or worked a shift of sixteen hours With no opportunity for food

I’ve never been to a pub fight With no back up for miles

Or picked up a “five hander” Then had to do the files

I’ve never turned up for duty On a team where numbers lack

Or been glared at in the supermarket When trying to buy a snack

I’ve never forced entry into a house Where a body has been for days

Or told a mum her child is dead After trespassing on the railways

But I have some staff in Westminster Who tell me what is right

I have more people in my office Than shifts turn out at night

I’ve infiltrated the service With a thing called a ‘Commissioner of Crime’

Who fights my battles from within

Further eroding the Thin Blue Line

They are tasked with securing efficient policing

Whilst their office staff continues to grow

Obscene amounts paid on wages

While the Police Service approaches Death Row

The College of Policing Introduces more ill thought out ideas

Degree required for entry

Limiting applicants for the career Fast track to Inspector

Wasting effort, money and time

People promoted above their own incompetence

Those who have never dealt with crime

Promotion is no longer about skills Or abilities on the streets

It’s about how you use the Facebook And sucking up to bosses in your tweets

I am determined to ruin Policing Staff losses from backroom to the front

Yes, it’s me and my policies

And a load of Government…..er….cuts!’

 

If you have a blog that you would like us to share with our readers and followers, then please feel free to contact our team of former emergency services personnel by using any of the details below. 

If you have an emergency services related story, video (that you have filmed) or opinion (whether its light-hearted or serious) that you want us to share with our readers, then you can reach our team using any of the details below. 

We treat all correspondence with anonymity! 

Email: emergency_services_humour@outlook.com | Follow & find us on Twitter @ES_Humour | Follow & find us on Facebook @EmergencyServicesHumour

Before you go...

WE NEED YOUR HELP.Here at Emergency Services News, we aim to tell you stories that the mainstream media are not interested in reporting. Whilst the MSM love to berate and ridicule the emergency services, who is there to report on the realities of serving on the front line?

Emergency Services News is currently a loss-making entity. But our team of volunteers, all former emergency services personnel, do not do it for the money.

We do it because we are sick and tired of the mainstream media constantly trying to undermine the men and women who put their lives on the line to keep you and your family safe.

How many MSM journalists who speak ill of the emergency services have actually dared to don the uniform and risk their own lives to save the life of a complete stranger? If you would like to help back our mission of reporting on fact-based news, then please consider helping to support us financially.

You can support emergency services news from as little as £1. It only takes a minute. Every contribution, however big or small, is vital for our future.

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