I write this article, as someone who spent ten years as a Cop on a response team in East London, and as someone who had to deal with a similar call, whereby a member of the public called 999 after spotting a ‘Lion’ on a local council estate at 0300.
Needless to say, that the ‘lion’ in question, turned out to be a stuffed toy. Bravo.
It would appear, however, that Police in Peterhead, Scotland, had a similar encounter with a stuffed beast, but that their call had a bit more longevity when it came to resulting the CAD with the control room.
The encounter started when local farmer, Bruce Grubb, called the Police after he set his eyes upon a large & fearsome cat (with stripes) that had somehow managed to pop over to Scotland on a plane, ship or other mode of transport, and had decided to take up residence in the sub-zero climate.
In a barn. On a farm. Next to some cows….as you do.
Now, assuming that Mr Grubb wasn’t making it all up, and having seen a picture of the Tiger ‘in-situ’, Police Scotland sprung into action, and despatched a couple of units, including their own ‘assassination squad’ (in the form of armed response vehicles).
You can just image the look of excitement on the faces of our armed oppos, as they laid down their crayons and sprung into action like an infantry platoon who had been called to go into combat for the first time.
I bet their itchy-trigger-fingers were twitching at the thought of pumping a man-eating Tiger full of lead.
Thereto ensued a 45-minute standoff between our Police oppos and the (presumed) sleeping beast of an animal.
You can just imagine Officers taking up various sniper-like positions all over the farm, as animal-loving cops who were also in attendance, grappled with their conscience at the thought of this majestic beasts’ life being brought to an end with a barrage of 9mm rounds.
We aren’t quite sure as to how it was established that the ‘tiger’ was in fact a stuffed toy, or how it managed to get there. If you know, then contact us so that we can sleep easy!
Perhaps country-folk in Scotland have developed an alternative to human-dogging, and instead use stuffed animals in order to satisfy their ‘liaisons’?
We hope that the stuffed tiger has been re-homed and that it has had a wash.
Watch this space for appeals in relation to finding the ‘animal’ a suitable place to live, assuming that one has not already been found…
Written by ‘CopEx’. An Admin of Emergency Services Humour (210K followers) on Facebook, and a regular contributor to our hugely popular fortnightly satirical Digital Magazine, ‘S__ts & Giggles’.
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