The fictitious non-government non-existent department, responsible for ensuring that morale up-and-down the country is maintained to the highest levels at all times, has confirmed that a typo led to the derisory 2% pay rise offer for police officers being publicised rather than the originally intended 2000%.
A spokes-human for the Ministry of Morale told Emergency Services Humour:
“An intern who had been tasked with deciding on how much the police should be awarded in the latest round of pay reviews, had recently been given a speeding ticket from a police officer who had nothing better to do with his time, than to try and reduce the number of roads deaths in the area where our intern was driving his Fiat 500.
“The intern was (allegedly) clocked doing 80mph in a 30mph zone, but claimed his humane rights had been violated because he had an upset stomach and needed to use the bathroom.
“Because of this perceived injustice, instead of putting the figure of ‘2,000’ in the pay-rise algorithm, he put ‘2’.
“Lessons have been learned and we will ensure that this does not happen again.
“we would like to re-assure officers that their morale is very important to us and that we appreciate the hard work they do.
“we would never insult the 130,000 (or so) police officers manning and womaning the thin line of blue”.
When asked about why this pay rise would not be implemented for nearly 100 years, our spokes-human would not confirm on the record as to why this period had been chosen.
But off the record, they said that they hoped that in 100 years, all police forces would be privately run, negating the need for any pay-rise to actually be implemented.
Written by one of the many admins of Emergency Services Humour who is also a regular blogger in our fortnightly eMagazine ’S__ts & Giggles’ which you can sign up to by visiting our Facebook page and clicking on the ‘sign up’.
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Yes, by reducing the Police force to almost a token answer to increasing crime it is not only putting Police Officers at INCREASED RISK to their well being and their lives the insult is that those sections that seriously need police presence are also suffering more insulting behaviour.. But if it’s a service to the community doesn’t pay for itself or MAKE A PROFIT the government couldn’t give a toss. What we are seeing is a Fascist state where attempts are being made to rigg future voting so we beget a ONE PARTY STATE. Using their favourite technique of starving anything not MAKING MORE MONEY FOR THOSE GREEDY PEOPLE WHO HAVE ENOUGH but still want more it is “reformed”. Its been taken one step further dilution of those in rural area’s by devolving/reforming the country into “county” area where more people vote for the right wing.