The Ministry of Morale has now confirmed, that it will no longer ban members of the public from being able to give ‘tips’ & gratuities to emergency services personnel attending emergency calls.
It is hoped that this new ruling will mean that emergency services personnel will be able to top-up their income from the life-saving and often harrowing work which they have to undertake on a daily basis – often with zero appreciation or recognition.
Previously, members of the emergency services were not allowed to accept any sort of gifts from grateful members of the public, other than half-eaten boxes of Quality Street around Christmas time.
However, any excitement regarding this new ruling was quickly curtailed when it was confirmed by the Ministry of Morale that there would be a 98% rate of tax applied to any tips which emergency services personnel received whilst on the job.
A Spokesperson for the Ministry confirmed to Emergency Services Media:
“it is important that emergency services staff are rewarded for going above-and-beyond the call of duty.
And whilst the Ministry has no [official] available funds itself to pay for such incentives, we felt that members of the public would be happy to part with a few extra quid to reward the professionalism and dedication of our hard-working and dedicated emergency services [and NHS] personnel”.
The Spokesperson confirmed, off the record, that no tax would be applied to any food stuffs which are given to emergency services personnel, which is then sold to their hungry colleagues who have, for example, had to endure a full 12 hour shift without any sort of refreshment break.
Emergency services personnel will have to carry a pouch on their utility belts which members of the public can then place any coinage into.
The pouch will be placed on the rear of the utility belts, so that members of the public do not feel any pressure to give more than a few pence when giving the tip.
Written by one of our roaming correspondents, who is also a regular contributor to our satirical emergency services related Digital Magazine, S__ts & Giggles.
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