One of the good things about being the ‘go to’ “news” outlet for members of the emergency services, is that we get to see some of the most outrageous incidents which our colleagues are expected to have to deal with.
One in particular that sticks out in our minds, was the chap who called 999 in order to speak to the Police, only to share with them his concern for a duck that appeared to look a tad cold.
You may think that we are making this up but, alas, we are not. We covered the ‘story’ just the other month (click here to read that story) via our dedicated ‘news’ website.
Most of the ‘intel’ which is sent into us, is sent anonymously via our main website. And in between all of the c__p which we get sent from delinquent criminals telling us about an ‘investment’ that is too good to be true, occasionally we find an absolute gem.
Like, for example, this call that was made to the emergency services by someone who, following some ‘activity’ with their partner, ended up having to content with his semen becoming lodged in their throat AND nose….
I’m going to be honest with you here: I am not a virgin. And I have had some great experiences with my other-half in relation to ‘bedroom’ activities. I would say that I am experienced, but that I am not a ‘deviant’ – so to speak….
So I am finding it hard to understand how and why the individual making the above call to the emergency services, found themselves in such a predicament, and how they managed to pluck up the courage to call the emergency services for the reason as outlined in the call details above?
I am a male hetrosexual, so have never had to ponder what to do in a situation such as the scenario that the caller above found themselves in?
Would a drink of water not help? Or, maybe, a self-induced sneeze?
I am sure that our followers, both male and female, we be able to shine some light on this curious incident. By all means, feel free to Tweet us via @ES_Humour in order to try and ‘enlighten’ us.
More details regarding the call, will be revealed in the next issue of our popular digital magazine, affectionately called ‘S__ts & Giggles‘ (a term often used to describe serving in the armed forces and emergency services).
Should you wish to subscribe to our popular fortnightly digital magazine in order to find out more about this curious call, then we have created this handy link that you can click on —> Subscribe!
contact us via our main website: www.shitsandgiggles.online
I like the anonymous blog – but it isn’t just London it is everywhere – the government of the day downgrades anything that doesn’t turn a profit – they don’t care a fink about lawlessness just what is being spent by areas that don’t turn a profit. They have no respect for the Police, NHS hospitals, armed forces or any area even doctors surgeries. It now takes a week to get a call back from my surgery and if I want an appointment I have to ring EVERY morning at 8am (with god know how many others). Our entire social structure is being destroyed in front of our eyes – who tell us wages are catching up, we are in financial heaven just lies lies and more lies. 90% of these “servants of the people are not fit to lick the boots of police officers and anyone who is try to provide a “service” for the public. I reported the NHSBSA is committing fraud by fining people – a job for the courts – a job for the police (now a private company) – profiting from the proceeds of criminality – is anyone interested – I have done my utmost to have this investigate but the shutters are down — the fear endured by people in a position to stop this is endemic.