‘Abused By Patients For Turning Up Late On Jobs, Never Supported By Line Managers, Manipulated Response Times’ | Anon

As many of our readers and followers will know (both inside and outside of the emergency services / NHS), we are passionate about highlighting the need for better mental healthcare provisions for emergency services & NHS personnel.

As more and more people become willing to talk about and share their own experiences with mental health, it is our hope that anyone who feels like the emotional burden of the job is becoming too much will reach out.

At the bottom of this article, we have added some contact details for Minds’ #OurBlueLight project.

We also hope that by sharing these anonymous stories, then better provisions will be made for emergency services / NHS personnel who time-and-time again are being exposed to high levels of trauma.

Even the strongest of minds can, from time-to-time, start to struggle to cope with some of the horrendous sights which emergency services / NHS personnel are exposed to….

‘Please keep this Anonymous but feel free to email me any Questions.

Having worked for over 25 years in the NHS I finally succumb to the demons I thought were locked away. Battled with pride, isolation, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, emotional breakdowns .

The Signs

Coming home from shift reliving my work, lying in bed staring at the ceiling unable to switch off. Did not speak to my partner or friends as not to be a burden. Overall I became a very good actor.

My Work

Unprecedented work demands hours without regular breaks, bullying and harassment in the organisation to meet demands. 

Morale was low for all of us but as a green family we pulled each other along. 

Forever verbally abused by patients for turning up late on jobs, never supported by line managers, manipulated response times. 

No time to reflect on traumatic jobs, no counselling just a phone number to ring to update your sickness. 

The Beginning 

I had suffered with work related stress where my employer failed to pay my unsocial payments heaping financial stress when I was absent from work. 

Was never on the sick often but persecuted when off. A failed phased return to work resulting in more stress. 

Eventually a diagnosis of PTSD from a community mental health team.

The Battle

Thinking of jobs when trying to sleep, waking from any sleep screaming crying having a panic attack. 

Avoiding areas where trauma occurred. Researching suicide methods to end my life. Short tempered with family and friends. Fearing certain calls in work.

The Help

Frankly NONE. No system in place all help was sought via charities. Notified line managers of diagnosis of which one laughed at my condition.

The Outcome

 A discussion with my partner who vowed for me never to return to the frontline. 

I resigned. 

An investigation was supposedly carried out yet the outcome was never made known to me as I had resigned. 

An Alternative career using my clinical skills in a GP Surgery.

The Future

Even Now I still suffer, I have undergone counselling, mindful group, EMDR. I take SSRI’s but still have flashbacks and nights of no sleep.

I am scarred by what I have experienced and even more scarred on how I was treated. 

Advice

Use Charities for Counselling it’s quicker, speak to helplines such as the Samaritans, expose publicly those who stigmatise you or treat you with no respect. 

Bullying and intimidation can push you to suicide and those perpetrators will never be punished, but when you are dead it’s the family who suffer the pain not the one’s who push you to suicide.

Don’t Die of Mental Trauma.

Anonymous’

If you are currently serving in the emergency services and would like to speak to someone for advice and support, then click here to contact Minds’ #OurBlueLight team

If you have a story, video or one-off blog that you would like to share with us, then you can contact our team of former emergency services & armed forces personnel either through our Facebook page, via twitter ( @ES_News_ ) or you can contact us via email: contact@emergency-services.news

If you run or manage a ‘job’ social media account and you would like us to share one of your stories then send us a tweet or a message! 

If you would like to write an article that you would like us to share (it can be about anything to do with the emergency services / NHS) whether you serve in the emergency services / NHS or whether you are a member of the public that has had a good experience with the emergency services, then feel free to contact our team; anonymously if you prefer.  

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