‘An Ambulance Christmas’ | Anonymous
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through our town, Ambulances sat quietly, call volume was down.
Dispatchers and medics, without any calls, Were settled-in cozily within station walls.
The city grew silent as the late night grew deep; my crew mate and I settled in for some sleep.
But no sooner dreaming of being in our beds, The tones of dispatch surrounded our heads, The call had come in for a bad RTA; Some nutcase claimed he’d hit Santa’s sleigh!
“Head trauma,” we thought, as we gathered our gear, “Or maybe a drunk driver – it’s that time of year.”
As we raced to the scene with our sirens and lights, We hoped for the best, tonight of all nights.
We had no idea we were in for a surprise And, on our arrival, couldn’t believe our own eyes.
I said to my partner, “This must be a trick! That man in the ditch just can’t be St. Nick!”
A smashed-up sleigh with toys flung far and near! And off to the side, a group of reindeer!
The driver of the car, with a bump on his head Was crying and told us he wished he was dead.
“Oh, why did I have that one extra beer?
Now I’ve killed Santa – no Christmas this year!”
By now we’d decided that this was too strange, So we tried to call backup, but were out of range.
“No radio contact,” to my partner I said, “I’ll check on that one while you dress this one’s head.”
I approached the man in the ditch with great care. He was dressed so oddly – he gave me a scare.
He wore a red suit and a strange kind of hat. I thought to myself, “Who dresses like that?”
Then he opened his eyes and he said, “Do not fear. Just please help me up – I must catch my reindeer.”
I said, “The reindeer are fine, but stay put where you are. You’ve taken a pretty hard hit from that car.” I didn’t want to leave him, so I let out a holler: “We’re gonna need backboard, head blocks and collar!”
As we worked, the man cried, “No! Please don’t strap me down. I have toys to deliver all over town!
All of the children tonight are depending on me To get their presents under the Christmas tree.”
“I’m sorry,” I told him, as I shook my head sadly, “You’re going to the hospital – you’ve been hurt too badly.”
He looked up at me and wiped off a tear And told me, “The you must deliver Christmas presents this year!” “Visit every single child’s home in this town?” asked I. “Sir, you must think I can make an ambulance fly!”
Then I thought I had made a serious blunder, For his eyes grew steely, and his voice was like thunder. “Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen, Come Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen! Hitch onto that truck and take to the sky For tonight, indeed, an ambulance will fly!”
I just shook my head as we loaded him in, Then climbed in the cab and I just had to grin.
For there were the reindeer, all in a row, In front of the truck as if ready to go. “That’s cute,” I thought. “I’ll just go around.” But then they took off and our wheels left the ground!
Away we went, up over the trees, Sailing along as light as a breeze.
We touched down on rooftops, delivering toys, Dropping gifts for all the good little girls and boys.
We stopped briefly in the hospital’s ambulance bay And wheeled him to ED – and hoped he’d stay. “We’ll call Dispatch later,” we said on our way.
“Santa’s turned our ambulance into a sleigh!” Then off we flew, all through the night, Delivering toys ’til the dawn’s early light.
Finally, at our station, we headed down, Both of us happy to be back on the ground.
Dispatch was mad, but the more we explained, The less they believed us and the more they looked pained.
So we sat in our crew room – boy, were we in trouble!
We turned on the news and perked up on the double.
As the TV crews interviewed people around town, It seems that some very strange things had gone down.
“Tire tracks on the rooftop” they said with a beam, And children were saying, “This year, Santa wore green!”
I grinned at my partner and said, “No mystery! This Christmas will go down in ambulance history.”
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