‘Prime Minister disMAY’ | Anonymous

This ‘message’ was sent into our team anonymously earlier on this morning. We have a feeling that it will capture the sentiment of many currently on the ever-thinning blue line. 

‘Colleagues….. please take a couple of minutes to read this little ditty that I have written….keep up the good work.

‘Prime Minister disMAY’

Hello everybody My name is Teresa May

I’m in charge of the Police And they’ll do as I say

I’ve no knowledge of law enforcement

A cop I’ve never been

I’ve no idea about what they do

I’ve never seen what they have seen

I’ve never been to a domestic While only single crewed

Or worked a shift of sixteen hours With no opportunity for food

I’ve never been to a pub fight With no back up for miles

Or picked up a “five hander” Then had to do the files

I’ve never turned up for duty On a team where numbers lack

Or been glared at in the supermarket When trying to buy a snack

I’ve never forced entry into a house Where a body has been for days

Or told a mum her child is dead After trespassing on the railways

But I have some staff in Westminster Who tell me what is right

I have more people in my office Than shifts turn out at night

I’ve infiltrated the service With a thing called a ‘Commissioner of Crime’

Who fights my battles from within

Further eroding the Thin Blue Line

They are tasked with securing efficient policing

Whilst their office staff continues to grow

Obscene amounts paid on wages

While the Police Service approaches Death Row

The College of Policing Introduces more ill thought out ideas

Degree required for entry

Limiting applicants for the career Fast track to Inspector

Wasting effort, money and time

People promoted above their own incompetence

Those who have never dealt with crime

Promotion is no longer about skills Or abilities on the streets

It’s about how you use the Facebook And sucking up to bosses in your tweets

I am determined to ruin Policing Staff losses from backroom to the front

Yes, it’s me and my policies

And a load of Government…..er….cuts!’


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