Category Archives: Blogs

‘There’s Too Much Noise’ – Angry Resident Moans About Sirens

I often use to almost feel sorry for the people that lived on the same street as my old police station. My old Borough (Met Police) was a constant melody of police, ambulance and fire service sirens. Considering that our Borough alone probably used to get, on average, around 15-20 999 calls per hour, then not more than a few

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Male ‘Falls Over’ And Ends Up With His Hand Stuck In Friends Rectum

Out of all of the gigabytes of material which we receive on a daily basis, there’s always two types of content we enjoy sharing the most: videos and screenshots of  bizarre calls which our colleagues have to deal with. As you would expect, we do not know the ‘finer’ details of this particular call; only that someone ended up calling

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Our MESSAGE To The Public On Bonfire Night: Please Don’t Act Like A D**K

This message only applies to the 1% of people who cannot control their excitement at the thought of being allowed to send small rockets into the air and who, as a result of their inability to control their excitement, will end up acting like a d**k tonight. In particular, this message is aimed fairly and squarely at the imbeciles who

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WATCH: A Depiction Of A Newly-Qualified Detectives FIRST Job

After years on the streets gaining vital experience (unless you are a direct entry detective of course) and having spent too much money on that tailor-fitted suit, then a newly qualified detective is often as keen as mustard to get to that first ‘proper’ job. Often, upon arrival at the scene of the ‘proper job’, then the newly qualified DC’s

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As Our ‘News’ Website Hits 1 MILLION Views In 8-Months, We Ask: Where’s The Love?

When we set up Emergency-Services.News towards the end of the first quarter of this year (2018), we did so because we wanted to help to create a ‘voice’ for the emergency services / NHS. From running our Facebook page, Emergency Services Humour, it soon became apparent that our 255,000 followers had loads of stories and blogs which they wanted to

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Who IS The Boss?

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the boss. The brain said, “since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss.” The feet said, “since I carry man where he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, then I should be the boss.”

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It’s A Sad Day When The Metropolitan Police Have To Raise Funds By Selling Merchandise.

I have a lot of love for the Metropolitan Police, having spent a number of years on a 999 response team working on a busy East London borough. Despite also doing a stint in the armed forces, I would say that the camaraderie in the Met Police was well on-par with what I experienced in the armed forces. So it

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The OFFICIAL Cake Fines & Offences ACT 2018

Cake Fines in the emergency services, are a good way of ensuring that minor infractions of work-related (informal) rules are suitably ‘punished’. But with so much confusion out there, in terms of what does and does not constitute an ‘official’ cake fine, then we thought that we would share this handy piece of ‘legislation’. An Act to consolidate all fines

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