Anyone who has ever served in the emergency services will be able to recount, at some point, attending a call that has been a complete waste of Police time.
But calling 999 because of a ‘bad dream’? That’s a whole new level of “what the f__k”!?
We were contacted via email (emergency_services_humour@outlook.com), on the condition of anonymity, by a Police Officer manning the Thin Blue Line somewhere in the leafy suburbs of ‘middle England’.
He was so frustrated with such a blatant waste of Police resources, that he wanted to get it off of his chest. And he came to the right place:
“It was around midnight, and we had just sat down for some hot refs having JUST spent 5 hours dealing with a ‘domestic incident’ (non-crime) where a mother had called the Police, because her 15-year old son would not go to bed.
Having finally escaped the madness of having a parent call us, because their offspring would not bed down for the night, we assumed that ‘normality’ would return.
But in the middle of eating our morale-inducing greasy, heart clogging doner kebabs, we had been assigned to a call by our Skipper, where a male had called 999 because of a bad dream that he had just had. The skipper wanted us to go, because there was a query regarding the mental health of the caller. Roger that!
So we hid our nutritious meals somewhere in the nick, so as to prevent the slimy kebabs from being eaten by the local mice infestation, and made our way to the address.
When we knocked at the address, a male, in just his manky underpants, answered the door and told us that he was “ok” and that he had just had a dream about ‘men who looked like something off of the Matrix’ trying to break into his house’….
After giving the male some words of advice, and making sure that there were no other legitimate reasons for Police attendance, we left the address and made our way back to the nick in order to finish our cold doner kebabs.
We debriefed the newly promoted Sarge, and give a full account of our very thorough actions whilst at the address.
It’s the 21st century, and we are being sent to adults males, having bad dreams about fictional characters from films breaking into their houses. What a wonderful society we live in”.
To read more ‘you couldn’t make it up’ accounts from emergency services personnel serving on the front line, subscribe to our fortnightly satirical eMagazine for just £1 / $1 per month.
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